PAgent’s Progress

There were a total of three neighbors at the meeting last night, including myself. There was also a local business owner. That meant we had a ratio of audience to presenters of 4:3. Pretty pitiful. I’m really surprised more of my neighbors didn’t show up.

Anyway, the engineering firm that came up with the expansion plan had some nice wall charts showing the building plan, the building plan superimposed over a satellite image of the neighborhood, etc. They came prepared to handle all the questions that arose.

Long story short, they’re going to expand an existing building. They’re going to take out some existing railroad tracks that are currently not in use. And they’re going to put in a new parking area for semitrailers. While they will be laying down a lot of new pavement, the impact on the wooded buffer zone between them and us will be minimal. I think they only have to cut down a few trees along one corner of their lot. There will be no encroachment onto the riparian zone of the creek between us. They say that overall, truck traffic will be decreased as a result, and that there is mostly no activity overnight at this facility anyway.

It was a very cordial meeting. It seemed like they were genuinely concerned about how the project could affect their neighbors, and that they wanted things to go as smoothly as possible. I know, every corporate entity wants to avoid trouble and bad publicity, but these guys seemed genuine.

One thing stuck in my mind, though. At the end of the meeting, I commented that they had clearly tried very hard not to impinge on the creek, or the surrounding wetlands, and had managed to avoid a large impact on the surrounding vegetation, and I thanked them for that.

The engineering guy laughed shortly and said something like “Well, thank the Clean Water Act and the City of Beaverton, because we couldn’t go anywhere near the creek without a violation.”

Hmmmm.

The owner of the building immediately also noted that they wanted to be good neighbors, etc. etc. But that comment really struck me.

You see, one of the reasons I’m a (gasp) liberal instead of a conservative, is that I strongly believe that business and industry is incapable of policing itself. You have to have rules to protect the environment, and the health of workers and citizens, because there will always be a monetary incentive to pillage the countryside and screw your workers. Unless there is a penalty structure that makes it more expensive to be Snidely Whiplash than to be Dudley Do-Right, anyone that is responsible to shareholders will always take the cheaper route. That’s their job.

I just never thought I’d hear such a definitive affirmation of those beliefs delivered directly to my face.

Bonus Question: How do you know when you’re not getting enough sleep?

Answer: When you fall asleep on the couch at 9:00, and sleep until midnight. Oy.

I finally did something today that I’ve been needing to do for, oh, a year. When the wife and I upgraded our cell phones, we bagged up our two old Nokias and my ancient Motorola brick phone, and set them aside to donate to at-risk women. I even brought the bag into work. And there it sat, mocking me, reminding me that I was so sorry-ass lazy I couldn’t even manage to carry a bag ‘o phones across town.

Well, I put on my walking gear today, but instead of walking down to the river, I walked down the South Park Blocks to Portland State University, found the Women’s Resource Center, and handed over the bag ‘o phones.

Did you know that any cell phone, whether it is associated with a calling plan or not, can call 911? That’s why various organizations refurbish these cell phones and distribute them to battered women, women who have had to leave their homes, women that are being stalked, women living out of their cars. That cell phone can represent their final line of defense from a psycho ex-boyfriend, and in the end a cell phone might prove much more helpful than a restraining order, even if they managed to get one.

So, if you have some old cell phones laying around, stuffed in a drawer, etc., spend a few minutes googling for cell phone donations in your area. It could turn out to be a lifesaver for some woman.

***
On the way back from PSU, I stopped at Superdogs and had a Chicago Style dog. It was the best Chicago Style I’d had since leaving Illinois, and that’s fifteen years ago. Hot peppers, big ‘ol slice of pickle, tomatoes, fluorescent green relish – yum. And the bun was excellent. And the atmosphere was fun. You gotta love campus hangouts.

***
I will be attending a neighborhood meeting this evening. We have an industrial area right next to our little neighborhood. In fact it is just on the other side of the trees from our house. The company that is located closest to us wishes to discuss some changes with the residents of our neighborhood. Although I am by nature a pessimist, I still think it is safe to assume that they won’t be discussing making less noise, or planting trees, or scaling down their operation. It should be entertaining.

Went for a ride this morning, the first ride of the season. I had intended to ride to work yesterday. No, really, I was. Thursday night I laid out my riding clothes, and a set of work clothes to take with. Then Friday morning the alarm went off, and the first thing the guy on OPB said was “There’s black ice all over the place”.

Heh. I drove to work. Fat Guy + Recumbent + Black Ice = Intensive Care Unit

I was gratified at how good the bike felt. It skimmed along, quiet and responsive. The Koosah makes less noise than any other bike I’ve ever ridden. When the drivetrain is clean, it’s almost completely silent. It makes riding it in the morning that much more enjoyable. And the brakes! Good Lord, I can’t believe I let them get that sloppy. Having good braking again was a revelation.

Although it was colder than I expected, it was a good ride. Not too long, for the first ride this year, and I felt good. I felt strong. Good thing I have been walking as much as I have been, lately.

***
For movie night last night we watched the PG version of “Fantastic Four”. I have to admit, I love movies On Demand. We really enjoyed it. The kids thought it was the greatest movie ever, and I thought it did a pretty good job of being a comic book movie. It got such lousy reviews, I was kind of dreading watching it.

And besides, I could watch Jessica Alba for hours without getting bored.

***
The girl has been having some troubles managing her anger lately. She’s had a lot of attitude, which has earned her some consequences. For a change, the wife and I have remained calm for the most part. The girl, on the other hand, has thrown a couple of amazing fits. She’s been doing some really over-the-top kind of stuff; screaming, throwing things, etc. In a way, I kind of prefer that kind of reaction over the silent, ‘wonder-what’s-going-on-in-her-head’ sulking episodes. It seems healther. On the other hand, they’re becoming a little too dramatic.

One source of contention has been the GameCube. The kids have been getting more and more dependent on playing games, particularly the girl. And she has been getting more and more bossy when playing them with her brother. In fact, she’s been pretty much ruining the experience for him.

This morning, he got up first, tried to rouse her (unsuccessfully), and proceeded to play a game. The wife and I were trying to stay in bed. When the girl got up, she made her brother turn off the game he was playing, and demanded they play the game SHE wanted to play. He was reduced to tears, and came crying to us.

The wife and I discussed it briefly, decided this was happening far too often, and that there needed to be a meaningful consequence. So, we called the girl into the bedroom and informed her that as of this morning, no Nintendo in the mornings. The GameCube would be available only in the afternoons. Since they only play in the morning on weekends, this didn’t seem like too harsh a consequence, but it would reinforce that the GameCube was a privilege, and a privilege that could be lost.

Surprisingly, the girl went ballistic. Screaming, banging on the wall, having a complete hissy fit. At one point she banged open our bedroom door and screamed that we couldn’t stop her from playing video games, and she WOULD play them. Then she slammed our bedroom door shut.

Okay. Besides being a clear indication that the games are becoming far too important to her, at least, this was a pretty clear challenge to parental authority, something that has been becoming more and more of an issue.

Again, the wife and I stayed calm, and we didn’t yell. But while she was sulking, I gathered up all the game controllers and locked them in a trunk. I want to make it very clear who decides who will play video games, and when they will be played.

A few days ago I posted a blog entry that was somewhat critical of the VW GTI “Make Friends With Your Fast” ad campaign. I did so because I really hate those ads, and I thought it was a poor concept for a series of advertisements. But, it’s just my blog. Who would care about my opinion?

Well, apparently SOMEONE does. Today someone surfed to that blog entry, specifically. When I pulled their detailed stats, their ISP was Crispin Porter & Bogusky. Crispin Porter & Bogusky, by the way, is the ad agency that developed the “Fast” icon.

The link that was followed to get to my blog entry was a google blogsearch for the terms ‘gti’ and ‘fast’.

“Cool!” I thought. “They’re trolling blogs for real feedback from real people. Maybe my opinion will make a tiny difference.” Warm fuzzy feeling.

Interesting thing is, I had a devil of a time finding my own blog entry. I clicked the blogsearch that Crispin et al. used to find my blog entry, and my post wasn’t on the first page of search results. It wasn’t on the second page of search results. It wasn’t on any of the first 22 pages of search results. That’s pretty unusual. When someone comes to PAgent’s Progress from a search, I’m usually on one of the first three pages of hits. I wondered two things: Was this guy some kind of masochist advertising wonk that just slogged through hundreds of pages of hits?

Then I couldn’t find that particular blog entry no matter what kind of search I did, including a search for the phrase “pagentsprogress”, which should have turned up every single entry I’ve made. Go ahead, try it yourself. So, how did the guy/gal from Crispin find it? Curiouser and curiouser.

Finally, I did an advanced blog search, with the keywords ‘gti’ and ‘fast’ again, and my blog entry popped right up on the first page.

So, I don’t understand why that particular post doesn’t show up on a standard blogsearch, I’m fighting with every fiber of my being not to lapse into muttering incoherent conspiracy theories, about shadowy ad agency operatives eliminating every negative comment on their ad compaigns. Instead, I’ll assume it’s a glitch in the Matrix.

But if I should vanish mysteriously, the truth is out there.

The wife and I stole away last Saturday for a night on the town. We were going to go see Drunk Pupppet Nite #6, and left early enough to catch dinner downtown.

We originally planned on going to The Melting Pot and having fondue. Unfortunately, I am rather dense about things like reservations, and by the time I called them, they were booked until 9:30. That just wouldn’t work for us. So, I figured we would try Southpark Seafood Grill & Wine Bar, which is near the theatre.

I was reluctant to go to Southpark. For one thing, I’m not a big seafood fan. For another, I had attended an office lunch there a few years ago and the service had been abysmal. They had not only brought my order well after everyone else was done eating (with no explanation) but one of the servers sprayed three (three!) of us with ketchup in one spectacular spill. I hadn’t been back since.

Which I now regret. I started with a roasted beet salad with cabrales cheese, toasted walnuts, and baby field greens tossed with sherry vinegar. It was really exquisite. The beets were not overly sweet, and had just enough texture to be substantial to the tooth. The cheese was funky, and provided a nice contrast with the sherry vinegar dressing. With the walnuts, it was a medley of flavors and textures that came together beautifully.

I chose a simple pasta entree, orecchiette pasta served with house-made Italian sausage, broccoli florets, small hot chilies and fontina cheese. This dish, too, was tossed with sherry . The sausage was wonderful, and the chilies provided a strong but not overly aggressive heat. But the star of the show was the pasta. We get too used to eating pasta that serves as nothing more than a vehicle for sauce. We forget that properly prepared pasta can be exquisite in its own right. These ‘little ears’ were deliciously chewy, with a flavor and texture that was almost nutty. Every bite was a treat.

The wife had a sausage-stuffed pork chop, served with gratin potatoes. Although the pork was a little rare for my taste (I know it’s a mental block, but it’s the way I was raised) it had an excellent flavor, and was very tender. The sausage stuffing was almost sweet, and although I thought the potatoes were a bit bland, Mrs. Agent said that once you got to the stuffing, everything went very well together.

The dessert menu looked very tempting, at least to me, but we were on a short timetable, and had to run along. Perhaps another time. Now that I know how good a meal I can get there, I will make an effort to get back.

That is the only audience I can imagine VW could possibly be targeting with their ‘Make Friends With Your Fast’ ad compaign for the GTI (You can see all four ads here). The concept is that The Fast, a menacing little thing that looks like a cross between PacMan and Darth Vader, is the embodiment of the driver’s need to drive a high-performance car, and drive fast. Duh.

In one of the ads, a young man is driving with his girlfriend, windows down. Her hair is getting blown everywhere, so she asks if he can put the windows up. The “Fast” growls “My Fast likes to drive with the windows down.” So the driver cuts her off, saying “Sweetie, it’s really hard to enjoy the sound of the engine with all that yackin’.”

Charming. Really hope he wasn’t planning on getting any action any time soon. In fact, all of the ‘Fast’ ads seem to have the common theme “If you buy a VW GTI, you will liberate your inner asshole.” This is supposed to sell cars? What were you thinking, VW?

***
We have mangy squirrels in our neighborhood. I mean that all too literally, with my tongue carefully kept out of my cheek. A few weeks ago, we noticed some of the squirrels that hang out in our yard looked like they had been shaved bald. It’s AMAZING how scrawny those things are when you get the fur off them. Anyway, they looked bad. The kids were very, very concerned. Especially because one of them had a nasty, nasty limp. How could a wounded squirrel with no fur survive the rest of the winter?

I looked online for possible reasons for this condition, and decided it was probably mange. A few days later, someone wrote a letter to the paper asking about ‘bald squirrels’, and the reporter confirmed that it was mange, and they would either get over it, and be fine, or they would die of some secondary illness.

We’ve explained this to the kids, standing at the kitchen window, with Elton John’s “Circle of Life” playing softly in the background. Mostly we’ve told them under no circumstances are they to go near any squirrel, especially one that looks like it’s a skinhead.

Fortunately, some of the scalped squirrels are looking decidedly more fuzzy these days. We have hope that they will shrug off this parasite, and grow back their normally luxurious pelts before too long. That gimpy one still looks like hell, though. I’m amazed the neighborhood cats (of which we have a great number) haven’t taken him out.