PAgent’s Progress

Last Friday marked the first time I ever spent the night in a hospital. Fortunately, I was able to walk in under my own power. As I approached Admissions, the staffer immediately said “Sleep Study?” She said it was pretty easy to recognize folks coming in to the sleep clinic, as they were carrying an overnight bag and usually their own pillow. I would also bet that virtually all of them are overweight older men.

I checked into the sleep clinic at St. Vincent’s at 8:00 pm and was escorted to a small room with a bed and a complete nocturnal surveillance system, including a remote-controlled low-light camera and an overhead microphone. I watched a short film that explained sleep apnea, and went into detail as to exactly how hard it is on your system to slightly suffocate a hundred times each night.

Then I got wired. Leesa, my polysomnographic technologist (love that title) started fitting me with the sensors she would use to monitor my sleep. By the time she was done, I was wearing:

- two sensor bands, one around my chest under my arms, one at my waist
- EKG electrodes on chest and back
- microphone taped to the base of my throat
- two electrodes on each calf to monitor restless leg syndrome
- a dozen electrodes on my scalp and face
- a thermocouple wire taped under my nose to detect exhalation
- a blood oxygen monitor on my right index finger

I looked funky.

Leesa told me that they would monitor my sleep patterns, and if they determined that I was, in fact, suffering from sleep apnea, they would wake me up to fit me with a CPAP and attempt to titrate the pressure. That is, they would try to determine the positive pressure that the CPAP needed to deliver to prevent the apnea.

I took a sleeping pill, which was itself ironic, since one of the reasons I was undertaking the study was my chronic sleepiness, and they turned out the lights.

The next thing I knew, Leesa was attempting to reattach two of the electrodes on my scalp. I had, of course, sweated enough to wash off the cement attaching them to my scalp. Then she put a facemask on me, and air started getting pumped into my nose. It was an odd sensation. Then she left, and after a few minutes, I drifted back to sleep.

At 6:00, I was awakened. The face mask was still in place. Leesa began taking off the various wires and sensors. I asked he if I had indeed been exhibiting apnea. She assured me that they wouldn’t have put the CPAP on me if I hadn’t. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been able to completely titrate the pressure needed, so I couldn’t take a CPAP home. But I should make an appointment with my primary care physician to go over the results from the sleep study and I would get one then.

So, how did I feel? Well, I was only wearing the CPAP for maybe half the night, but even so I felt pretty chipper all day. I can only imagine that having a full night’s quality sleep will be a truly restorative process again.

And no more snoring.

It’s a brazillion degrees in Portland today.

So OF COURSE our heat pump has shut down.

In order to maintain compliance with FCC regulations, and in the interest of serving the public, PAgent’s Progress hereby provides two Public Service Announcements (PSAs):

Sing-a-Long

Check ‘em
Note: the following may be a little discomfiting to those of a particularly prudish nature.

For further information, please contact the Sean Kimerling Testicular Cancer Foundation at carpetestes.org. For more excellent testicular videos, see YouTube channel checkyourselfout.

You know how in Star Trek, they were always going on about “resonance frequencies” of the shields, or they trot out the classic footage of the collapse of the original Tacoma Narrows bridge, and explain that it was due to destructive resonance?

But what IS resonance?

Here’s a great little video that demonstrates resonance between metronomes. Note that the resonance only occurs when the movements of the metronomes becomes coupled (by isolating the piece of wood on the rollers).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy a truckload of metronomes so I can hold Portland’s bridges for ransom. Muah-hah-hah.

See the original article at Popular Science.

I haven’t posted anything substantial in a while. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. You might be tempted to think this was due to our new PDX Network project, and to some extent you would be right. But that’s not nearly all the story.

My son has been as sick as the proverbial dog. He had to stay home from camp last Friday, and has been hovering at 100-102 degrees for the last four days. He’s completely congested, and to top it all off, nauseated enough to need a bucket handy at all times. The little guy did NOT have a fun weekend. He seemed a bit more chipper this morning, so we’ll see if he’s over the hump.

Meanwhile, the Boy’s illness has done wonders for the level of religious fervor in our household. “Please God, don’t let me get it. I don’t want to get sick. Lord, I can’t afford to get sick right now.” But I digress.

As for the girl, things have been both good and bad. On the positive side, she was a PAIT (Program Aide In Training) at Girl Scout day camp last week, and from what I’ve heard she acquitted herself quite well. We got her report card, and while it had two Cs on it, that’s better than the Fs they were a couple of months ago. And she sometimes surprises us with a comment or an action that is startlingly mature.

On the other hand, this comic isn’t all that far from the truth. She’s been asserting her personal independence from her tyrannous parents more and more often, which would be laughable if it weren’t so incredibly aggravating. At any given time, a seemingly innocent request can suddenly blow up into a full-fledged power struggle, with no warning and no time to prepare.

I’m not good with power struggles.

I will be going to a sleep clinic this Friday for a sleep study. We have long suspected that I have some issues with sleeping, because of the ridiculous volume of my snoring. I didn’t take the possibility of apnea seriously until I started falling asleep at my desk. While typing. Driving can also become a bit of a challenge, especially on the highway. I fully expect to come home with a CPAP on Saturday morning.

Now that summer temperatures have finally hit the Willamette Valley, it is time for some serious grilling. Sunday night I decided to grill some turkey, and I like the way it turned out:

Note that this is grilled turkey, not smoked turkey or BBQ turkey. Although I want to try smoking a bird sometime this year. To go with the turkey, I melted a stick of butter, added cinnamon and brown sugar, and brought it to a boil. Once it was fully dissolved, I added the sugary goo to a dish of cubed sweet potatoes, and tossed to coat. From there they went into the Traeger with the turkey. Once the turkey was done, I bumped the heat up to 375 to get some color on the taters. I like the way they turned out, too.

As long as I’m embedding photos, I have to include a picture of Gus. I sure have been enjoying my time with him lately.

And one more thing, a friend of mine recommended the group “Tunng.” I listened to some of their tracks and I like them, although I would have difficulty placing them in a particular genre. In any event, here’s one of their songs so you can hear them, too:

Tunng – Woodcat

Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever put a single post into so many categories.

I would be remiss if I didn’t note the passing of Cyd Charisse. Ms. Charisse passed away on June 17, 2008, at the age of 86.

She was an elegantly beautiful, leggy brunette and a gifted dancer. She starred in MGM musicals opposite both Fred Astaire (The Band Wagon, Silk Stockings) and Gene Kelly (Singin’ in the Rain, Brigadoon).

Although she studied ballet, she was not a petite woman, and on screen she projected a combination of power and grace that was striking.

My favorite Charisse role is that of Fiona in Brigadoon. If you’ve never had the pleasure of seeing Ms. Charisse dance, enjoy this sequence with Gene Kelly from that film.