PAgent’s Progress

As you may know, it is now illegal in the state of Oregon to use a cellphone or text while driving UNLESS you use a hands-free device. And not only is it a primary offense (you can get pulled over for no other reason) but it carries a hefty fine ($142).

It was therefore prudent for us to invest in a bluetooth headset when we purchased our daughter a cell phone for Christmas. Since my wife uses her phone far more than I do, it was obvious that she should be the one to get it.

Of course, the fact that there was a new gadget in the house and it wasn’t MINE was kind of annoying. Plus I couldn’t help but wonder when I might actually NEED to use my phone while driving. Long story short, I did some shopping online after the first of the year, and found a Motorola headset that Consumer Reports labeled a “best buy” on sale for about half price. I promptly ordered it.

On Friday January 8, I was notified by the retailer, let’s call them “Too-Much-Inventory.com” that my headset had been shipped, and that I could track my shipment via the US Postal Service.

Fast forward to Friday, January 15, when I checked tracking for my shipment, and found out it had just reached a sorting facility in BROOKLYN. This seemed a little excessive to me, considering it was shipped first class mail, and I foolishly, foolishly commented on it at twitter:

My order from “Too-Much-Inventory.com” shipped (firstclass mail) on Jan.8. The USPS picked it up Jan. 11. And it JUST LEFT Brooklyn on Jan 14. WTF??

Just venting, really. Not actually very concerned about anything. Just being my normal curmudgeonly self.

Except I got a return tweet almost immediately from “Too-Much-Inventory.com” asking me to send them my contact information and order number so they could investigate my complaint.

Crap! Nailed by either a twitter bot, or some incredibly anal-retentive customer service twitter searcher. Well, that was kind of embarrassing, so I quickly banged out an explanatory email and fired it off, hoping to forestall any serious reaction:

Sorry to vent like that. I’m not irked at “Too-Much-Inventory”, it looks like it left your hands as early as last week. Just wondering why it seems to have taken so long to get to Brooklyn. And why Brooklyn??

It didn’t work. In the next 24 hours I received two telephone messages on my answering machine, and a detailed email apologizing profusely for “any disappointment or inconvenience this may have caused” and telling me that their standard shipping method usually takes 5-10 business days.

Fine, no problem. They apologized (when they didn’t need to) so everything was hunky dory, and I assumed the matter was closed.

Except this morning there was yet another email waiting for me, asking for my comments on the unfortunate shipping problem. This was getting ridiculous. Realizing that I needed to be a touch more proactive, I quickly banged out the following reply:

While I appreciate the zealous nature of the response from your customer care team, particularly the frighteningly efficient Ms. S**** B***, I don’t actually have a complaint. I placed an order with “Too-Much-Inventory.com”, which was shipped in a timely manner.

Unfortunately, I made a comment on twitter about how I didn’t understand how the USPS could take so long to move my order from its initial pickup to Brooklyn. That’s all. *Please understand that I have complete confidence that my order will be delivered within the promised window for delivery*. I have no quibbles with “Too-Much-Inventor.com”. This was my first experience with your fine company, and I have every intention of patronizing you again. My only issue, such as it was, was with the USPS.

You can just imagine my surprise then at receiving one twitter message, two phone messages, and three emails about such a trivial matter.

All in all, it was perhaps unwise of me to make a comment online about such a petty issue, and I *sincerely* regret my actions. I only hope that I have not triggered some sort of hysteria in your department, that there have been no Stalinist purge of the disloyal, and that I have not been placed on any sort of “watch list” for troublesome customers. Rest assured I will do my very best not to use the words “Too-Much-Inventory” on twitter ever again, in any context whatsoever.

Warmest regards,

PAgent

And hopefully that will be the end of it. USPS tracking tells me my headset is now in Portland, so I might even get it tomorrow.