PAgent’s Progress

Words Are My Favorite Toys

April 13th, 2006
April 13th, 2006

I Want That Purse

I have never bothered with radio contests. The whole “you must be the seventh caller!” with the shrieking and the dialing and the sound effects; it never really appealed to me. Radio contests are something that other people, frivolous people, engage in.

As I have mentioned previously, I listen to a local radio station mornings and evenings, usually during my commute. While I love the personalities they have on the air, I pretty much loathe the music.

This station has implemented a “Pick Your Purse” contest. Folks who have registered with this station’s little online club (*cough* such as myself) are told which song to listen for, at what time, on a particular day. The tenth caller when that song is played gets entered for a chance to Pick Your Purse.

There are three purses to choose from. A Louis Vuitton that comes with a $20,000 extreme makeover. A Prada handbag that comes stuffed with 213,000 pesos ($20,000). And a Kate Spade bag that comes with the keys to a 2006 Chevy Cobalt.

And it occurred to me that I would really enjoy having a new car. Especially one that is referred to as a ’supercharged coupe’. The longer I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that I really deserved that car. And, as a registered listener, I had a better chance to win it, right?

And so I found myself glued to the stupid radio, listening for songs that I hate, and punching buttons on the phone like a crack-addled lab monkey. Here is where it gets amusing:

The first two days of the contest last week I was actually dialing the wrong number, thanks to an error in the email that went out to all the registered listeners. I have been painfully hindered by the fact that I’m not familiar with half the songs they’re using as cues, because I generally change the channel whenever music comes on. I completely spaced the contest this last Monday, and refused to get up early enough to dial in on Tuesday. Wednesday, my cell phone battery died, leaving me forced to manually punch buttons on an actual phone. It turns out that I can in fact dial and redial as obsessive-compulsively as the best of them.

Okay, the only defense for this behavior I can come up with is an impending mid-life crisis. Faced with the potential of having a brand-new two seater sports coupe, all of my rationality and reserve has deserted me. I have become a trained rat, frantically pushing the ‘reward’ button in hopes of getting a pellet.

However, despite my somewhat pathetic efforts, I never get past a busy signal. Ah well, I suppose it was not meant to be. I don’t anticipate my reflexes OR luck getting better in the next few days, so I should just wave goodbye to my fantasy of having a new car.

At least until I got another email last night from the station. It seems that they are discontinuing the ‘points’ program for registered listeners. The collection of points was one of the reasons I had registered in the first place, only to find that, since I actually didn’t LIKE the music they played, I wanted to bid on very few of the prizes they offered. So, all the points I have accumulated will shortly become as worthless as they deserve to be. Except - -

You can purchase chances to be picked for “Pick Your Purse” using those accumulated points. Each chance costs 1,000 points. The more chances you buy, the better your odds.

As of this morning, I have purchased 44 chances to claim ownership of a Kate Spade handbag. I have no pride left. Give me the damned car.