There is an upscale rock and gem shop near my office. I often shop there because, as I have mentioned previously, my wife and daughter are rock freaks. Virtually nothing makes them happier than for me to bring them home a rock. And while some rocks are quite expensive (diamonds, for example), there are some lovely minerals that are quite affordable.

It’s becoming harder to visit my local fancy rock shop, because the help there is so darn helpful. I don’t like people hovering over me as I shop. I especially don’t like people hovering over me and talking to me as I shop. And I particularly dislike people hovering over me and trying to talk to me about new age crystal woo-woo philosophy.

Let me say that, like many other subjective phenomena, it is entirely possible that for some people, certain crystals give them distinct sensations. It is even possible (although not probable) that those sensation are not entirely due to the expectation that they will occur, e.g. the placebo effect. Nevertheless, I personally have never picked up a crystal and felt it heat up, cool down, vibrate, levitate, clear my chakras, or otherwise interact with my person other than through direct physical contact. Perhaps I am insensitive to the Greater Mysteries.

Therefore, I would suggest that salespeople who follow hard-headed and skeptical customers such as myself around the rock store pointing out which stones are “energy stones”, which ones “redirect your chakra”, and which ones have “exceptionally high vibrational energy” are simply going to force us out of the store screaming. I’m there to buy rocks that I like. I’m not there filling a prescription.

Please leave me alone.