Yesterday I was getting ready for work, and noticed that the computer was on. I assumed my wife forgot to shut it down. I also noticed the toilet in the utility room had been used, but not flushed. Also, not that unusual, as flushing is still something my kids have to be reminded to do.
Then my wife called me at work. “Did you turn the computer on this morning?”
“No, it was on when I got up.”
“…I’m going to get our kids out of bed and find out what they were doing last night.”
Sure enough, they had gotten up at 4:00 am, turned on the computer, surfed the web, and watched some TV. Less than a week after getting their privileges restored from the last time they were wandering at night. Unbelievable.
Of course, our children are still somewhat unsophisticated. They left the computer on, because they didn’t know the Shut Down procedure. They left footprints in the browser history, because they didn’t know it tracked the sites you visit. But as my wife has pointed out “Don’t ever tell them how you know what they were doing, or they won’t ever make that mistake again.”
This is a very real concern. My kids are bright enough to learn from their mistakes. I am beginning to feel like Jean-Luc, trying to battle the Borg. “They’ve adapted their shield harmonics. Phasers have no effect!” “They’ve learned to clear the browser cache, we don’t know where they surfed!”
I have semi-seriously suggested that I put tripwires in our house, connected to bells or some other noisemaker, so we can catch them in the act. My wife was appalled at the suggestion. Her solution? Put some key objects (like the TV remote) in a particular arrangement, and see if they have been moved in the morning.
When I take a step back, I am astounded that we two rational adults are having strategy sessions on how to outwit a 9 year old. And what’s more, I have the sneaking suspicion that we’re losing. Between the two of us, we’re Inspector Clouseau and Kato.
Just don’t ask me which is which.
Figure out some sort of silent alarm that will wake you up when they are, then scare the holly bejesus out of em.
This is not any kind of advice on your problem. I’m just suggesting this for entertainment.
And the default comment: Good luck.
You say it’s both of your kids that have this problem, but really it’s your little one following the older one.
Sit down with the little one and explain to him while he can still be saved. He needs to know that what he’s doing is irresponsible and that you are losing trust in him. Maybe he’ll develop a conscience and a sense of shame in doing things wrong.
I’m not saying Your daughter is a hopeless cause, but she’s most definitely a bad influence. Make sure the little one knows that.
When we apply consequences, we stress that she is getting them for the behavior, and he is getting them for the behavior, but also for not saying ‘no’ to his sister when she wants to do something we wouldn’t approve of.
But it’s not really as clear cut as we would like it to be. They are very, very close, nearly inseparable. It can be genuinely hard to say after the fact who is responsible for what. Particularly as my son has reached an age where he can make plenty of bad decisions in his own right, without help.