No one knows better than I the pressures of the patent practitioner; The long hours behind the desk, the close personal relationship with your computer. Not everybody is cut out for such stress. Still, it’s rare to actually see evidence that someone has snapped. Lost their perspective. Taken it all too seriously.

For example, look at U.S. Patent no. 6,494,763 to Hastey for a ‘Life-like Doll’. It’s a straightforward patent, directed to an internal skeletal structure for dolls. It’s all set out in the Abstract:

And certainly the internal framework looks perfectly normal. Nothing unusual here.

But when you look at the doll with the body in place, things begin to go somewhere odd:

Holy Crap! That doll is stacked! And check out the hair! What is this, Baby’s First Playmate of the Month? No, no. It MUST be my imagination. This is a TOY patent. I’m sure it’s not as … risque as all that. Maybe the rest of the figures…

Oh, Good Lord.

It’s certainly possible that these figures came direct from the client. I’ve seen stranger things. Still, part of me can’t help but wonder if some poor patent attorney just got too damn lonely after all those hours of word processing, and got a little carried away sketching dolls for the latest toy patent….