It’s got a catchy beat, and you can dance to it, as they used to say on American Bandstand. I’ve heard it more than I maybe have wanted to on various radio stations. I always thought Toni Basil did the faux cheerleader thing better with “Hey Mickey” (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go ask your parents).
Out of curiousity, I pulled up the lyrics for Hollaback Girl the other day, and found out why it always sounded a bit disjointed to me when I heard it on the radio. You see, in order to play that song on the airwaves, they have to edit, cover-up, or otherwise bleep the word ’shit’ an astonishing thirty-eight times.
Don’t believe me? Here are the lyrics:
Uh huh, this my shit
All the girls stomp your feet like this
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
I heard that you were talking shit
And you didn’t think that I would hear it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
That’s right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
So that’s right dude, meet me at the bleachers
No principals, no student-teachers
Both of us want to be the winner, but there can only be one
So I’m gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you
That’s right, I’m the last one standing, another one bites the dust
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Again, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
A few times I’ve been around that track
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
I ain’t no hollaback girl
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
Oooh, this my Shit, this my Shit
What the hell?? Why would you even play a song on the radio when you have to delete thirty-eight words in order to avoid the FCC hammer? More importantly, why would you WRITE such a song? Is this an example where Ms. Stefani needed to demonstrate her ’street cred’?
My ten-year-old girl LOVES this song. She wants me to turn it up everytime it comes on the car radio. Thank God she doesn’t run out and buy her own disks yet. I guess I will have to prescreen CDs for her for a couple of years. I guess that makes me old-fashioned. I don’t want her bouncing around singing that kind of shit (ha! Get it?).
And the gap between me and what is popular continues to widen at an ever-increasing pace.
Gah! I’m getting too old, too fast.
Boy, the way Glenn Miller played
Songs that made the Hit Parade
Guys like us, we had it made
Those were the days
Didn’t need no welfare state
Everybody pulled his weight
Gee, our old La Salle ran great
Those were the days
And you knew where you were then
Girls were girls, and men were men
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again
People seemed to be content
Fifty dollars paid the rent
Freaks were in a circus tent
Those were the days
Take a little Sunday spin
Go to watch the Dodgers win
Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin
Hair was short and skirts were long
Kate Smith really sold a song
I just don’t know what went wrong
Those were the days
Would it surprise you to learn that I have the sheet music to that song?