I was driving home on I-5 tonight, heading out of downtown, and the pack of traffic that is created when I-84, I-405 and I-5 combine was starting to break up a bit. The semis were moving over to the right-hand lane as the highway climbed the hill. Cars were spreading out a bit and the average speed was creeping up.

I saw a motion in my rear-view mirror and glanced up. This huge black shiny SUV was roaring up behind me, significantly faster than the flow of traffic. I was passing a semi, and as I crept past the nose of the tractor, the SUV zoomed through the narrow gap between me and the truck, and then into the clear space in front of the climbing semi, where it flew up the road until it was forced to stop right on the back bumper of another car.

Just another aggressive driver, you might think. Except as the shiny black monster was zipping past me, I noticed a small shiny chrome ‘Jesus fish’ on the back of it. It looked like this:

Without going into the historical meaning of the Christian fish symbol, I think it is common knowledge that the fish symbol is used by modern Americans to identify themselves as Christians. Some of us might think it was used by certain folks to ostentatiously identify themselves as Christians.

If one were to consider the traditional qualities of the ideal Christian, humility and patience would certainly come to mind. It therefore struck me as rather ironic that such a shiny and meaningful symbol adorned the back of this expensive gas-guzzling leviathan, which was being piloted by someone so impatient and self-important that they saw no reason not to endanger the lives of the drivers and passengers around them by driving like an asshole.

Well, I suppose it’s possible that the driver was just looking forward to meeting their God, and didn’t see any reason to delay the trip. I just wish they weren’t so willing to help me meet mine.