Have you heard James Blunt’s song “You’re Beautiful”?

I have. Many, many, many times. I hate it. It’s a whiny, sappy ballad about a loser who gets a glimpse of a hot chick with another man on the subway, and creates this absurd fantasy romantic ideal about how heartbreaking it is that they won’t be together forever and ever and ever.

Give me a break. You saw a hot chick. You’ll never have her. It happens to the rest of the adult male world every single day. Get over yourself.

Oh, and “pure” and “sure” are supposed to rhyme. If they do not, you are pronouncing one of them incorrectly. Unless it is your intention to be “shore” of something. But I digress.

Fortunately, I do not have to waste any more of my energy mocking Mr. Blunt’s work, because the king of song parody, Wierd Al Yankovic, has done it for me. Please listen to “You’re Pitiful”.

Hail to the King, baby!