Married 14 years, I took a look at my wife the other day and said, “Honey, 14 years ago, we had a tiny rental house, a cheap car, slept on a tiny bed and watched a tiny TV with crappy reception, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 30-year-old brunette. Now, we have a nice house, two nice cars, a queen-size bed and a big-screen plasma TV, but I’m sleeping with a 44-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

But my wife is a very reasonable woman.

She told me to go out and find a hot 30-year-old brunette, and she’d make sure that I would once again be living in a tiny rental house, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a tiny bed.