flotsam » Posts in category 'Jokes'

Eric O’Shea

On Elmo and music for commercials:

Tags:comedy, live, standup


After spending his entire life farming in the frigid Midwest, Bob finally saved up enough money to retire to Florida, where he spent his days puttering around his property, especially working on the landscaping around a fair-sized pond. Eventually the area around the pond looked like a park, with a beautiful lawn, a firepit, a picnic table, and a grove of orange trees shading the whole area. It was a delightful spot to sit and enjoy the afternoon.

One day Bob decided to head down to the grove and collect some fresh oranges, so he grabbed an empty bucket and walked down to the pond. When he got there he was astonished to find a pile of women’s clothing scattered across his picnic table. He turned and looked at the pond and saw a whole group of attractive young ladies skinny-dipping. Hardly a moment after he noticed them, they noticed him, and began shrieking. Huddling together, they retreated into the pond until the water was up to their necks.

“Go away!” one of the girls screamed. “We’re not coming out until you’re gone, so it won’t do you any good to stand there and stare at us, you dirty old man!”

Bob smiled good-naturedly and said “Forgive me, ladies. I didn’t come down here with the intention of spying on y’all.” He then gestured to the bucket in his hand and said “I just came down here to feed the alligators!”

Tags:bob, florida, pond
© 2008 flotsam is powered by WordPress